Purpose
by Sugary.-.Snow
Summary: *Yaoi/rape*KaitoxLen* Len suffers from a mental illness that causes him to be constantly depressed and suicidal. While on his way home he meets a few people that take advantage of his weakness. After being raped by multiple people Len seeks comfort in the arms of his English teacher Kaito Shion who helps teach him that everyone has a purpose in life.
1. Chapter 1

Sitting down at the desk in my room I grabbed my pencil and began what would be the best essay I'd ever written. Or so I thought. I couldn't focus. My mind kept wandering back to my new English teacher for my sophomore year of high school, Mr. Kaito Shion.

Ever since I first laid eyes on him…I loved everything about him. His smile, his laugh, his perfect features…even his unusual love for ice-cream, I loved it all.

Rin called my name through my door which interrupted my thoughts, "Len! Dinner is ready!"

_Damn…_I had been so lost in my thoughts of Kaito I'd forgotten where I was.

"I'll be right there, Rin!" I called back to her. Once I heard her footsteps fade back downstairs I slowly stood from my desk.

Rin was lucky. It'd been three weeks since sophomore year started and I still hadn't gotten over that she got Kaito as her home room teacher and I got stuck with Mr. Gakupo Kamui. It wasn't fair.

I left my room and walked downstairs to the dining room. This would be the first year Rin and I lived on our own. Our family got into a car accident two years ago. Rin and I were the only survivors and we were living with our cousin up until a few months ago. Our cousin was still paying for the house we lived in but he lived in a whole different country.

I sat down at the dinner table across from Rin, we said thank you to _God_ for the food and began to eat. While my mind was on the subject of God I began to think about my religious views and compare them to Rin's. Rin was a Christian. I was an Atheist. Can you see the huge difference already? Rin doesn't know I don't believe in God and I intend to keep it that way.

I began eating the food she'd prepared more quickly now. It's not like I don't have a reason for not believing in God I just…I don't like to think about it.

"You'll choke if you keep eating like that," Rin warned me, causing me to drop my fork. It fell on my plate with a loud clatter and I flinched at the sound. Rin looked concerned now, "Len? Are you okay?"

I closed my eyes and began to focus on breathing evenly. Just like my therapist had taught me.

Rin looked at the wall-clock. "Oh," she stood up from her seat, "It's time for your medication."

A while after our parents died Rin was slowly recovering from all the sadness that weighed both of us down for a long time. I, however, only got worse. It got to the point where I didn't want to go to school anymore and could only stay home and lay in bed all day. I didn't want to eat or go outside. I wanted to die.

After my first suicide attempt, our cousin forced me to go to the doctor and he said I had severe depression. He recommended immediate therapy.

The therapist soon discovered that it was not just severe depression that I was dealing with. I had, and still have, a mental illness called melancholia. He prescribed a medication that forces me to be happy. I began to go to school again but as soon as I got home I'd crawl into bed and cry. I used to cry all the time. Soon I couldn't figure out what I was always crying for. Was it because I'd lost my parents? Was it because I was a target for constant bullying at school? Or was it because I felt I had no purpose in life?

Well, after months of therapy, my therapist confirmed that I may not be able to overcome this mental illness. I could be this way for the rest of my life. It did get a bit better though. Now I only break down when I start thinking of the past or other stuff in my life that's sad. Other than that I can act like a normal high school student.

"Here," Rin handed me a small white pill.

I swallowed it quickly. Taking that pill a couple times a day isn't nearly as bad as how much I had to take that and a few other pills before. That pill kept me together. It kept me…stable. I can't forget to take it every day. If I do the consequences are bad. Once, I slept in until the afternoon and didn't take it. When I woke up, almost immediately I thought of suicide. I sat up in my bed, and literally attempted to smother myself with my own pillow.

"I-I think I'm going to go to bed early," I stood up from the dinner table, "Thank you for the food, Rin." I began walking upstairs to my room.

"Wait, Len," Rin called out to me but I ignored her, "Are you sure you're okay? Should I call Dr. Megpoid…?"

I continued to ignore her and ran upstairs and into my room. I shut the door and locked it.

I covered my face with my hands and began to sob. "No…don't start crying…" I whispered to myself. "If you start…you won't be able to stop…"

I didn't bother turning on the light. I just changed into my pajamas and crawled into my bed. I didn't finish my homework, I just went to sleep.

At school the next morning I got to class late. I'd over slept and missed most of Homeroom. Rin had tried to wake me up but she eventually gave up and just left without me. I didn't blame her. I would leave myself too, if I could…

"Len, nice of you to join us," Mr. Kamui pulled up a chair for me to sit in, "Join the circle."

At our school, Homeroom/Advisory was sort of like group therapy…sort of. Everyone would get in a circle and talk about how their life was going or they'd answer a question on a particular topic that no one would usually want to talk about.

"Today's question is, 'how do you feel about public speaking?'" Mr. Kamui told me, "Because you were late, you have to hurry up and answer the question before the bell rings for your next class to start."

"Um…" I hated public speaking, and it sucked that he was making me do it right now, "I don't like to speak in front of people…"I was really quiet and started to shake with nervousness as the anxiety began to build up inside me.

That was another problem I had. I got nervous and stressed out really easily, which would also sometimes cause me to breakdown and cry, or scream or do something unnecessarily drastic.

"And why is that?" Mr. Kamui asked curiously, "Have you had some kind of bad experience while speaking in front of a crowd?"

"N-no...not really," I cleared my throat, "I just…what a lot of mental-um-nervous issues…"

"Well, you're going to have to get over it someday," Mr. Kamui pat me on the back just as the bell rang. "Class dismissed. But Len, could you stay for a moment?"

I gulped and nodded slowly. We stood up from our seats and approached his desk.

"What is it, Mr. Kamui?" I asked staring at the hard wood floor below us.

"Len, I've noticed that it's not just public speaking you don't like, it's speaking to anyone in general. And I was just wondering if there's a specific reason behind it?"

"I-I…have a mental illness that causes me to be depressed all the time," I continued to stare at the floor, "It's caused me to be antisocial as well. There's nothing I can do about it." I never thought about talking to the people around me. I never thought about making friends or anything and people rarely talked to me.

"Well, I'll need to confirm that with your parents-"

"Both of my parents are dead," I closed my eyes tight; "I only live with my twin sister. M-Mr. Kamui I don't like to think…about it so please understand that I'm going…I'm going to walk away now."

"Len, wait…"

I slung my backpack around my shoulder and left the classroom quickly. I ran into the men's bathroom past the urinals and into the one stall it had. Images of the accident flashed through my mind. How everything had seemed fine but five seconds later the car was spiraling out of control. Rin was asleep but I had been awake for the whole thing. I saw our fathers head hit the steering wheel with such force that blood trickled down his face, I saw our mother fly up out of her seat and hit the windshield.

Wanting to get the images out of my mind as quickly as possible I began to search something, a weapon to hurt myself with. The pain that I would cause myself would block out the internal pain I was feeling that hurt so badly…

When I couldn't find anything in my pockets or backpack I resorted to banging my head against the bathroom wall. The pain still wasn't enough so I continued to do it repeatedly until I heard the bathroom door open. Tears were streaming down my face and my head felt hot where I had been hitting it. I also felt a warm liquid trickle down from the spot.

"Who's in here?"

That was… Mr. Kaito Shion! No…no, I couldn't let him see me like this! I had to kill myself…before he saw this…

Not wanting to make much noise anymore I dropped to the floor and began scratching my wrists frantically. _He can't find me like this…he can't find me like this… Maybe if I can tear deep enough…_

"Hello?" Kaito knocked on the bathroom stall door.

Once all my scratching caused my wrist to bleed I made a small grunt of pain. I was feeling…dizzy… My head hurt so badly.

"I could've sworn I heard banging coming from here…" I didn't hear Kaito's footsteps of him walking away. So he was just standing there, outside the stall. I'd forgotten. Kaito's classroom was right next to the bathroom.

The blood dripping down my forehead began to get in my eye and I quickly brushed it off. _It was a bad idea._

The droplets of blood scattered to an area that if Kaito looked down he'd be able to see. Not realizing I had blood on my hands from scratching up my wrists I tried to wipe the blood up from off the bathroom tile, only causing more blood to smear on the floor.

Kaito did what I feared, "_What the hell?_" He looked down. "Whoever is in there stand back, I'm going to kick the door open!"

Instead of listening I held the door closed with all my strength as he kicked it. "Please, no! Don't!"

Kaito almost immediately recognized my voice, "Len? Is that you? Open this door right now!"

I still couldn't do that although I knew my efforts were in vain. I was growing dizzier and dizzier by the minute as my headache completely took over my brain. Just before I passed out on the floor realization hit me: I forgot to take my medication this morning.

_"Hey Len," Kaito smiled at me, "Are you alright?"_

_ I smiled back, "Yes I'm okay." Kaito set his hand in my lap._

_ "Good, I thought you were really hurt back there. You scared me," Slowly Kaito leaned forward and gently kissed me on the lips causing me to gasp and pull away._

_ "M-Mr. Shion…" I said quietly as I leaned back onto the bed of my room and he got on top of me._

_ "What did I tell you about that, Len? You can call me Kaito," he said as he stroked my hair and kissed me again, this time rougher than before. His hands slid down to my pants and he pulled them down slowly. He began to rub my already partially hard member through my boxers._

_ "A-ah…! K-Kaito…!" I moaned his name repeatedly._

Then I really woke up.

My eyes fluttered open and looked around to see that I was in the school nurses office._ Good, they didn't take me to a real hospital._ I felt my head and my wrists to find bandages on them.

"Oh, you're awake," The school nurse walked into the room. "Do you know how long you've been asleep?"

I shook my head, no.

"We had a real doctor come to the school to take a look at you and he said you have a mild concussion. You could've slipped into a coma, you know that?" The nurse looked at me seriously, "You look like you were in a bad fight. But when Mr. Shion brought you in he said it was just you alone in the bathroom. Did you do this to yourself?"

"M-my backpack…" I said quietly, "Where's my backpack?"

"Your backpack is right here," I turned red from remembering my dream as Mr. Kaito Shion lifted it off the chair when he walked in with my Homeroom teacher, Mr. Gakupo Kamui. The nurse exited when they entered.

"My medication…" he handed me the bag and I dug through it searching fiercely for the small bottle of pills. Once I found it my hands were so shaky that when I opened it I accidently dropped the bottle causing the pills to spill out everywhere. "No…" I whispered as I leapt out of bed to get the ones I spilled.

I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder, "Len it's okay." It was Mr. Kamui, "You shouldn't be moving so quickly right now. Get back in the bed; I'll get them for you."

I didn't respond; I just obeyed. I crawled back under the sheets of the bed while Mr. Kamui got the pills I'd dropped.

"What's so important about those pills?" Kaito asked.

"Well, I don't really know exactly," Mr. Kamui turned to put the pills he'd picked up in the garbage. "Len would be able to explain it better."

"No wait, don't!" I leapt up again to stop him from putting the pills in the garbage, "I-I _need_ those!" It was true. I needed every single pill in that bottle because if I ran out to quickly there was no way I could get my therapist to prescribe more fast enough. I'd probably kill myself by then.

"Well…okay…" Mr. Kamui put the pills back in the bottle.

I hurriedly took one and swallowed it down.

"Len, what are those pills so important for," Kaito tried to look me straight in the eyes but I avoided it.

"They-they keep me…alive…" this was another thing I didn't like thinking about.

"Mr. Kamui, may I speak with Len alone?" he asked my homeroom teacher.

Gakupo nodded and left the room, closing the door behind him.

When I was finished putting my medication away I began to fidget with the bed sheets nervously as I got back in the bed.

"Len, can you tell me what happened yesterday. Why I found you like that?"

Almost immediately I began tearing up as I shook my head, "No, where's my sister? Where's Rin? I need Rin!"

"I can go get her for you in a moment," Kaito was persistent. "Please Len, just tell me how that happened to you and then I can help you…"

"No!" I this was the loudest I'd ever been with a teacher, "You can't help me because there is no helping me! The doctors already confirmed that there's no way I can ever recover from my illness!"

"What illness?" Kaito looked even more interested than before now.

"There's no way anyone can help me. I have melancholia, a mental illness. All I can do is keep taking my medication," I reluctantly told him. "Now please…" I covered my face with my hands as I cried, "Please let me see my sister…"

Kaito sighed and left the room. When he returned Rin was with him.

She ran over and hugged me, "Len, I'm so glad you're alright! I'm sorry I couldn't be here when you woke up but I had to go to class."

"It's okay," I hugged her back.

"Len," she was whispering now, "tell me what happened."

I glanced over at Kaito, reluctant to say it in front of him. "I-I forgot to take my medication… I'm sorry."

That was all I really needed to say. She gently ran her hand along my wrapped up wrist and head. "It's not your fault. But what did you _do_?"

I flinched at remembering how painful it all was. _Why did I do that?_ My medication must be kicking in.

"I…I went in the bathroom…and hit my head against the wall as hard as I could," I stared down at the sheets and spoke calmly and quietly, "Then someone came in and…I don't remember anything after that." I was lying. I remembered everything up until I brushed the blood off my face.

"Then I'll remind you," Kaito sat down next to the bed I was occupying, "I came in and asked who was in there. You didn't reply but I still knew someone was there. I went to knock on the bathroom stall door and when I looked down there was blood on the floor. I tried to kick the door open but you held it closed. You asked me not to open it but I couldn't just leave a student in there bleeding. I guess you passed out after that because it only took a couple more kicks after that for it to open." Kaito took his glasses off to clean them, "You looked terrible. Not only did you bang your head against the wall but you also tried to scratch up your wrists."

"B-but you see that's what the medication is for!" I tried to defend myself quickly.

"Len, I think you need more help than that," Kaito slipped his glasses back on, "If there's ever a time when you're stuck without the medication and can't get any more what will you do then?"

My breathing became rapid at just the thought of what would happen.

"Our family has already tried getting him help, Mr. Shion," Rin explained to him, "He's been seeing a therapist for almost two years now!"

"I already told you, Mr. Shion," I said gripping the bed sheets firmly, "The best thing I can do is keep taking my medication."

"I won't accept that," Kaito set his hand on my shoulder; "You can't keep taking medication for the rest of your life. First off, it can damage some of your organs and second, it's too dangerous. You could forget, or lose the bottle or-"

I hit his hand away, "Why do you keep trying to '_help_' me? I don't need your help!" I got out of the bed again. I was wobbly but I'd be okay. "I'm going home."

"Len, you still have a concussion," Kaito explained, "You should stay here at least until your sister is out of school so she can watch over you."

"I'm not a child!" I said angrily, "I don't need someone to watch over me!" I slipped on my shoes and grabbed my backpack. "I'll see you at home, Rin."

We lived a while away from the school I had to take the monorail back home. The small compartment I was in was almost empty besides a boy who looked about my age, probably skipping school, a woman with two kids, and an old man who looked like he should be on his death bed.

I was beginning to feel sick. It felt like they were all watching me because of all the bandages I had on. It felt like they were wondering what happened to me. It's not like I can take the bandages off. I couldn't walk around with open wounds on my head and wrists; it would look nasty and could get infected.

When it came to my stop I got off the monorail as quickly as possible only to bump into the kid who looked about my age who had also gotten off.

"I-I'm sorry," I said as I tried to walk around him.

"Wait," he grabbed my shoulder causing me to shudder and gasp. "You go to the local high school right?"

"Uh…um…yeah…" I looked down at my feet.

"And your sister is Rin Kagamine right?"

Who the hell was this guy? "Yeah, do you know her?"

"I wasn't supposed to tell you this right now, but," he took a deep breath; "I'm her boyfriend, Mikuo."

I was beyond shocked, "W-what?" Why wouldn't Rin tell me this?

"Uh…I'm Mikuo Hatsune, nice to meet you," he shook my hand.

"I…I'm Len Kagamine. If we go to the same school what are you doing here then?" I looked around, "Taking the monorail during the middle of the day? Are you skipping school?"

"I-I could ask you the same thing!" Mikuo began to look nervous.

"I was excused from school because of my injuries. I highly doubt I can say the same about you!" This was the kind of guy Rin was dating?

"Um…I—"

Then some other guys approached Mikuo from behind, "Hey, Mikuo! Who's your friend?"

Mikuo looked more nervous than before, "Ah, Luki! He's nobody. Just some guy…"

"Just some guy huh?" The one Mikuo had called Luki began examining me up and down. "What happened to your head and arms, kid?"

I flinched at the memory, "Um…I fell."

"How about you come and hang out with us," Luki smiled, "We can have fun—"

"No!" Mikuo cut in quickly, "He can't he has to go home and…rest!"

I did feel terribly nauseous. I nodded my head slowly, "I should go."

"Alright then," I heard Luki say when I began to turn and walk away, "I guess I can just have my fun with _you_, Mikuo."

I heard Mikuo gasp and the sound of struggling was obvious. Were they going to…? I turned back around to see Luki holding Mikuo by his arm, their faces only inches apart.

"Please, let me go!" Mikuo sounded a bit desperate. I couldn't just leave him there…

"Now you decide to struggle? What about all the other times, huh, Mikuo?" Luki smirked. Since we were still at the monorail station he began to pull Mikuo to the closest Men's Bathroom. "Oh that's right, you have a girlfriend now? That's why you're resisting?"

Damn it! There was no one around to help him but me! The monorail station was completely empty now, besides us.

Just as Luki pulled Mikuo in the bathroom with the other two guys, I quickly searched myself for my cellphone only to remember that I'd left it at home when I was in a rush. I was running out of time now, I had to decide. Should I help him? There wasn't much I could do… But I found myself hurriedly walking into the bathroom anyway.

I heard Mikuo's voice come from one of the stalls. "L-Luki, no, let me go!"

Luki responded, "Shut up and hold still… Or would you rather me go back and get that other kid?"

Taking a couple of deep breaths I kicked the stall door open, "Let him go!"

Luki was holding both of Mikuo's arms behind his back with one hand and his other free hand was down Mikuo's pants.

Mikuo warned me quickly, "Len, no, run!"

But it was too late now.

"Go bring the car around, outside," Luki told one of his friends. They nodded and left. Luki dropped Mikuo to the floor and took a step closer to me, "You've got a lot of nerve kid. Mikuo went out of his way to sacrifice himself just so I'd leave you alone and you come back anyway?"

"Mikuo get up!" I told him. Why wasn't he moving? Then I saw a used syringe lying on the floor. "Y-you drugged him?" I went over to him and tried to get him up, "Mikuo!"

He looked up at me, dazed, "I-I'm sorry, Len… I can't…feel my body."

"You get Mikuo," Luki told his other remaining friend, "I got this kid."

Luki grabbed me by one of my bandaged wrists and I gasped in pain. "No!" I struggled to get away from his tight grip. When he grabbed me it had caused me to drop my backpack on the ground. I tried biting, kicking, punching, but eventually resorted to yelling and screaming for help.

"Shut up and maybe I'll be gentle when I'm fucking you senseless," Once he said that I began to struggle even more. Luki reached down and lifted me up off the ground. He carried me all the way out of the monorail station and to a dark blue van.

They opened up the back and threw me and Mikuo in. Luki got in with us while his other two friends got in the front. I tried to get Mikuo up again, "Mikuo please get up…" My eyes began to get blurry with tears. Was my medication still working?

Suddenly Luki pulled me away from Mikuo and began to yank off my school uniform. "I told you if you were quiet I might be gentle, however," Luki smirked, "You were loud and annoying therefore; you'll just have to endure it as best as you can."

The car began to move as Luki got my boxers off. I tried to pull away. "No, no, no… Please no…" I began to cry quietly.

Luki leaned forward and whispered in my ear, "Keep struggling, it makes it more exciting." He took off his clothes and held me down so that my chest and stomach were against the cold floor of the van. He wasted no time with positioning himself at my entrance and thrusting in roughly.

I screamed in pain. It hurt…so bad… My breathing that had already been rapid with nervousness before was now even faster. I thought my chest and lungs would explode. My vision was so blurry I couldn't see a thing.

He pulled all the way out and thrust back in repeatedly with the same amount of force each time. The pain only increased with every thrust he made.

"If you relaxed…it wouldn't…hurt as much," Luki continued to push in and pull back out quicker and quicker.

I couldn't relax though, I was too busy trying to block out everything around me.

It seemed like forever until Luki came inside me and slowly pulled out. "Your name is Len right?" Without waiting for an answer he grabbed me by my hair and threw me toward Mikuo, "Well, Len, you're going to put on a little show with Mikuo for me."

Luki crawled over to us and grabbed Mikuo by his hair this time, "Mikuo, you're going to fuck him, okay?"

"N-no…" Mikuo still had the drug coursing through his veins, "I-I can't…"

Luki sighed, annoyed, and tapped the person in the passenger's seat on the shoulder. They whispered to each other until his friend handed him a small black object that looked heavy. My vision was still blurred but the outlining of it made it clear what it was.

I began to hyperventilate. If my heart could beat any faster it was right at the moment Luki aimed a gun at us.

"O-okay, just please don't shoot!" Even while drugged Mikuo knew to obey when faced with a danger like that. He turned to me, an indescribable sad look on his face, "I'm so sorry, Len."

The tears had never stopped flowing. They only flowed more and more as Mikuo removed his clothing and set his hard member at my entrance. It must be the drug that was making him..._excited_. He held me much more gently than Luki had.

"I-I'm so sorry…" He said one more time before slowly sliding it inside.

I yelled out in pain again. It hurt so fucking bad I wanted to die more than ever before.

He began to push in and out quickly. "Ahh…! Ah! Oh God! …" There was no escaping the pain, even if Mikuo went slowly (which he was trying to) it would still hurt. Mikuo reached down and grabbed my manhood. I wasn't hard actually, but as Mikuo began moving his hand up and down I could feel the pressure slowly building up.

He must be trying to help block out the pain for me.

I had to admit it was working a little bit. Some of my yelling became from pleasure.

It didn't take long for me to orgasm, considering it was my very first time, but Mikuo kept going, like he'd done this before… When he finally did orgasm, he pulled out of me and laid me on the car floor gently.

"Hey Luki, we're here," his friend in the driver's informed him. The car slowly came to a stop and the two people in the front got out of the car and opened up the back. Luki pulled Mikuo out and nodded to both of his friends.

"Do whatever you want with him while we're gone," Luki handed one of his friends the gun then he picked Mikuo up bridal-style and carried him away.

Both of them forcefully had sex with me just as Luki had. It was rape. They had raped me but I just couldn't get my mind to wrap around that fact. It wouldn't process in my brain. I could barely think.

One of them grabbed me by my hair and rubbed my face against his hard member.

"You know what to do," he said and forcefully shoved his dick in my mouth.

I sadly obeyed. What other choice did I have?

He began moaning as I reluctantly sucked on it. Knitting his hands in my hair he pushed my head down further and further until I was almost choking. He came in my mouth and I began coughing violently as I pulled away.

They raped me one more time before leaving me in that van to lay there feeling disgusted with myself. Why couldn't I just die already?


	2. Chapter 2

It felt like I had been in that car forever before the doors opened again.

Why would 'God' do this to me? What have I ever done to anyone to deserve this? If I was wrong and there really is a God out there…then I hate him.

My vision wasn't blurry anymore because I'd stopped crying but I didn't bother looking up until I heard Mikuo's voice. "Len, try to get your clothes on, hurry up."

When I didn't move he decided to help me put my clothes on. It wasn't my fault I couldn't put my clothes on by myself, I could barely move, my whole body ached.

Once my clothes were on, Mikuo pulled me out of the van and carried me, down the road.

"We have to hurry up…" he was out of breath from carrying me and running, "…and get out of here. Luki will never let you go if you stay."

"I'm sorry," I whispered quietly, "I'm sorry I'm so helpless."

"Don't be sorry," Mikuo said angrily, "None of this is your fault!" The drug must have worn off.

"It hurts so bad…" Tears began filling my eyes again, "Please kill me."

"_What_?" Mikuo looked at me, shocked, "Did you just ask me to murder you?"

"_Please_…" I said again looking him in his eyes, "Just save me the trouble of doing it later. I'm only slowing you down anyway."

Mikuo looked like he was in quite a lot of pain as well. I had no idea what they did to him when Luki took him away but by the way he was limping I think I had a clue.

"Len, I'm not going to kill you," he narrowed his eyes at me. "And asking me to do it is just…"

"I don't want to live anymore…" I sobbed quietly, "I can't…"

"Why?" Mikuo asked, "Why wouldn't you want to live anymore?"

Suddenly I pushed him away and fell to the ground, "Because it's too hard! All life holds in store for me is disappointment. My parents are dead already, so why don't I just join them?"

Mikuo took me by surprise when he responded, "You selfish little brat!"

I looked at him confused, "W-what?"

"Did you even stop to consider how someone else might feel about that? What about the people who care about you? Like your teachers or _Rin_? Not only would she be stuck without parents but a brother too. Why don't you wake up and realize that people don't just live for themselves! They live for their friends and family and find happiness when they're with each other." Mikuo looked like he was on the verge of tears as well, "Why do you think I'm still alive? You've seen the shit I've had to put up with!" He pointed back in the direction we'd just came from then he grabbed me by my shirt collar, "Do you want to know how long he's been doing those things to me?"

Honestly, I didn't want to know. I was scared of what the answer was.

"Since I was 11 years old…" he slowly let go of my collar. "What he put you through is only half of what he's done to me…" He turned away from me. I knew he was crying now. "But you know why I'm still here? It's because of my sister and Rin. I live because I want to be there for my sister and Rin whenever I can. Whenever they…need me…"

Mikuo looked at me and sighed. He wiped the tears from his face and lifted me up again. This time I kept silent as he carried me. He carried me all the way to a gas station where he used what little money we both had to pay for a phone call on the payphone.

"Hey Rin, it's me," Mikuo had set me down on a bench next the payphone so he could speak to her, "Len is with me. I have to make this quick but can you find someone with a car to pick us up? It's a major emergency." He explained to her as briefly as possible that we were both 'injured' and he told her our location, "Yeah you can talk to him."

Quickly, I stood up with Mikuo's help and took the phone from him, "R-Rin…"

"Len, thank God you're okay," she sounded like she was crying, "I was so scared…"

Hearing her voice brought tears to my eyes _again_. "Rin…please hurry and get someone to come get us. I don't know how long we can stay in this area… They might come looking for us and—"

"Wait _who_ might come looking for you?"

"I'm sorry I can't tell you right now, I love you, Rin, goodbye," I handed the phone back to Mikuo and lied on the bench.

"Yeah, don't worry, I'll look after him. Alright, I love you too, Rin, bye," he hung up the phone.

They were already in that stage of their relationship where they were telling each other: '_I love you'_? How long have they been together? Why did they never tell me?

Mikuo and I waited on that bench for about an hour or so before a black car pulled up in front of us. The first person who got out was Rin. She ran over to me and hugged me tightly.

"Len, c'mon get in the car," she said and tried to pull me but I when I stood up I fell to the ground in pain.

My whole body hurt like hell. I couldn't walk.

Then someone got out of the driver's side and walked over to me.

Was it really…"M-Mr. Shion?"

Kaito lifted me up and put me in the backseat of his car. Rin got in the back with me and Mikuo got in the passenger's side.

"Thank you so much," Mikuo said to Kaito and Rin as we began driving.

"Yeah…thank you…" I added quietly.

"It's fine…" Kaito said, "You don't have to thank me can you just tell me what happened."

I immediately kept quiet and I was glad to see Mikuo did the same.

"Len, Mikuo it's okay, you can tell us," Rin encouraged us. I was lying on her lap and she was gently stroking my hair.

"No, it's not okay," I said quietly, "It's not okay at all…"

"W-we got into a little trouble…" Mikuo said, "That's all."

"Mikuo, Len, would you like to know what I did before I became a teacher," Kaito said suddenly, "I was a therapist. I dealt with wide range of people, from rape victims to people with schizophrenia. From the condition you are both in I can tell it wasn't just a _'little trouble'_ was it? You were both raped weren't you?"

I tensed up immediately, and Rin's hand began to stroke my hair quicker and quicker.

"I'm guessing from your silence I'm right?" Kaito managed to stay focused on driving as he spoke, "Well then we need to get you both to the hospital and call the police."

Mikuo and I spoke at the same time, _"NO!"_

Rin gasped at our reaction, "Why?"

"You can't call the police," Mikuo looked extremely serious.

"And I can't go to the hospital," I looked at Rin pleadingly. She knew why. I was afraid of hospitals. Whenever I went to the doctor's office even for a simple checkup I was afraid. I was scared that they might find something more wrong with me than there already was. Whether it was physical or mental damage, I didn't want to know anymore. I was scared they'd throw me into a mental institution. The only one I really trusted was my therapist, Gumi Megpoid.

"Even if you don't want to go to the hospital, we have to call the police," Kaito said.

"Stop the car," Mikuo said suddenly. "Stop the damn car!"

Surprised, Kaito listened and pulled over, "What's wrong—" Mikuo quickly exited the vehicle.

"Mikuo wait!" Rin got out of the car with him.

I watched as Rin chased after him and stopped him to ask what was wrong.

Mikuo was calmly explaining to her why he didn't want them to call the police but I couldn't hear anything.

"The boy must be in some kind of trouble," Kaito informed me, "Either he's in trouble with the police or the rapist is someone close to him."

I'd never really thought about that. Mikuo did say that Luki had been doing that to him since he was 11 years old.

"Len, please tell me what happened…" Kaito was practically begging me, "I promise talking about it will relieve some of the pain."

I looked at him doubtfully, "Maybe."

Rin got Mikuo to get back in the car and Kaito continued to drive.

"We won't call the police," Kaito said, "Just tell me where you live and I can drop you off there."

"Um…you can just drop me off at the next gas station…" Mikuo seemed reluctant to go home.

"Are you crazy? You're coming back to my house," Rin said sternly. "You can rest there."

"Thank you," Mikuo said, relieved.

Kaito took us back to our house.

Rin looked at Mr. Shion, "Kaito, why don't you come inside and stay a while?" Rin offered. When did she start calling him by his first name?

"That actually sounds nice," Kaito said and put his car in park. Everyone got out except me of course because I still couldn't move. Kaito lifted me up out of the car and carried me into the house.

Rin directed Mikuo toward the bathroom to take a shower and turned to Kaito who gently set me down on the couch and sat next to me.

"I know this is a lot to ask, sir, but can you please help Len in the shower?" Rin asked suddenly, "I don't think he'll be able to do it by himself."

My jaw dropped, "N-no!"

Kaito thought about it for a moment but agreed. "Sure I'll help him."

"Thank you," Rin said and pranced off happily, "I'll go make everyone some tea!"

My heart began pounding in my chest. I didn't want to take a shower with _Kaito_! Throw me in there with Mikuo, hell I'd even shower with _Rin_! We're twins so it shouldn't matter right? God dammit I don't want to do this!

Thinking of ways I could get out of this situation I finally came to the conclusion that I had to prove I could do it on my own. I had to hurry to. I could hear the shower already running in the bathroom where Mikuo was.

Using what little strength I had and the couch for support, I stood up slowly. Everything around me…seemed to be…spinning.

"Len be careful!" Kaito caught me; I didn't even realize I'd been falling. "The…._situation_ you were put in probably worsened your concussion you really shouldn't move around a lot."

Kaito was still holding me. As I looked up at him my mind began to wander. Shouldn't I consider showering with Mr. Shion a _good_ thing? I do love him right? Why? Why do I love him?

Suddenly he smiled sadly at me, "Don't worry, Len, I'll help you get through this. I promise, I'll be there for you."

_Oh._ That's why. Kaito was so kind and caring…I couldn't help but love him…

"Why? Why are you trying to help me so much, Mr. Shion?" I really didn't want to know the answer. I knew it would be something like: _Because you're my student._

"Call me Kaito when we're not in school," Kaito told me, "And I want to help you because…well because—"

"Here's the tea!" Rin happily walked in with a tray with cups of tea on it.

Kaito set me back down on the couch and sat next to me again.

"Thank you for the tea, Rin," Kaito said quietly.

We stayed in the living room as Kaito and Rin spoke to one another. Then I heard the shower stop and my heart skipped a beat. A couple minutes later Mikuo came out with some of my clothes on and still drying his hair.

"Oh Len I let Mikuo borrow some of your clothes," Rin told me.

"Whatever…" I didn't care about that. What I did care about was that Kaito was about to see me naked…and I was about to see _him_ naked.

"Okay, the shower's open," Mikuo informed us as he sat down next to Rin.

"Alright Len, let's go," Kaito lifted me up and carried me down the hallway to the bathroom.

"I already have some clothes laid out for you in there Len!" I heard RIn call out to me as Kaito shut the door.

First he turned on the water before helping me get my clothes and bandages off. Then he let me lay on the side of the bathtub while he removed his clothing as well.

When he was finished he helped me stand up in the shower. The hot water was soothing but I couldn't stop thinking that all I had to do was look down and I'd see Kaito's…. I could feel myself turning red at the thought.

"Len…"

I looked up at Kaito curiously.

"The truth is Len…I want to help you so badly because…" Kaito was blushing. "I like you. More than a teacher should like one of his students."

I couldn't believe my ears, "W-what?"

"I'm terribly sorry if you find it weird, considering we're in the shower together right now… Maybe it wasn't the best time to tell you," Kaito seemed to be panicking, "I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay," Although my heart was beating like crazy I began to lean into Kaito's chest, "It's alright…I…I feel the same way."

Kaito held me tighter. "Len please…let me help you." I looked up at him again to see that he was beginning to cry. That's really how serious he was…? "I want nothing more than to see you smiling. And not the fake ones you use to hide your sadness. I want to see your _real_ smile."

"O-okay…" I said quietly. Then Kaito did something I never though was possible. He kissed me. I hesitated from surprise but kissed back.

With every second that passed the kiss began to get deeper and deeper until Kaito grabbed my wrists and I broke the kiss to cry out in pain.

"Oh, Len, I'm so sorry!" He immediately let go of my completely causing me to lose my balance. He grabbed me again before I fell, "We should be more careful!"

I nodded in agreement. He helped me wash up and we got out of the shower. He helped me with everything, drying off, getting new bandages and clothes on, and into my bedroom.

"You should sleep, Len," Kaito informed me, "There's no school tomorrow so you have nothing to worry about." He kissed me on the forehead, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight…Kaito," That was the first time I had ever called him by his first name out loud. It felt strange. Kaito turned off the light and left the room, shutting the door behind him.

My dreams were horrible.

_I screamed for help, "No, please, stop!"_

_But there was absolutely no way I could stop him from pulling off all my clothes and thrusting his hard dick inside me with unimaginable force. This time I couldn't even see who the person was. They continued to pull out and push back in with the same amount of force._

I woke up screaming.

Then I saw Kaito in front of me, "Len, _Len_! It's alright; it was just a bad dream."

Then Rin and Mikuo ran in the room.

"What's wrong, what happened? Is he okay? _What did he do_?" Rin asked first.

"He's alright, he just had a bad dream," Kaito informed them, "You can go back to bed."

Rin and Mikuo left the room but Kaito stayed there with me.

"What did you dream about, that caused you to wake up screaming?" Kaito looked at me, concerned.

I couldn't stop the tears from running down my cheeks. "I-he…" I couldn't even form a correct sentence.

"Len, it's okay," he sat on the bed next to me and pulled me into his arms. "Everything it is okay. You can tell me."

"I was talking to Mikuo when some guys showed up," I began telling him what had happened earlier. I felt like I should. "He asked me to go hang out with them but Mikuo told them I couldn't. I was walking away when I heard Mikuo struggling to fight them off. When I turned back around they were pulling him into a bathroom and I knew…I had to help him…"

With every word I spoke I was crying more and more. "I went into the bathroom and tried to help Mikuo but he couldn't even move from the drugs they'd given him. Eventually they grabbed me and took threw us both in some van where that guy…" I could hardly bring myself to say it, "…he raped me and he made Mikuo do it too by threatening us with a gun. He also let his friends rape me…"

If Kaito held me any tighter I don't think I'd be able to breathe.

"They left me there and took Mikuo with them. I couldn't move so I just laid there and eventually Mikuo came and got me. Although he was hurt he carried me all the way to the gas station and that's where we called Rin." I couldn't believe I'd actually just told him. I couldn't believe any of this was real. Was Kaito really sitting there, holding me as I cried, or was I still dreaming?

"It's alright Len," Kaito said stroking my hair lightly, "I'm here for you and I'll always be there for you. I love you, Len."

If this is all real and I'm not only dreaming, hearing Kaito say that he loves me has made me the happiest person in the world. Even with this damned illness that I have. Soon I fell asleep in his arms.

When I awoke somehow I wasn't surprised to find no one by my side.

"Maybe it was a dream…" I could feel myself beginning to tear up.

"Maybe what was a dream?" I looked up to see Kaito poking his head through the door, "Rin is done making breakfast. Can you walk yet?"

Taking a deep breath I got out from under the sheets and gently set my feet on the floor. But as soon as I stood up pain shot through my hips causing me to immediately fall over.

Kaito quickly caught me before I hit the floor. "I'll help you."

"Thank you," I said as he helped me into the dining room.

We all sat down to have breakfast. It was still extremely uncomfortable for me to sit down the right way but I ignored the slight pain I felt. I sat next to Kaito on one side of the table and Rin sat next to Mikuo on the other side.

Breakfast went by really quickly and soon we were on the topic of whether or not Mikuo and I should go to the hospital and/or call the police.

"What that man did to you and Len is unforgivable!" Rin had tears in her eyes, "We can't let him get away with it!"

"Rin, please," Mikuo looked really stressed out, "I already told you we can't call the police. If you do you risk the chance of never seeing me again."

"Why's that?" Kaito asked Mikuo curiously.

"I… About 5 years ago I did a few things I really regret. I would be in jail right now if Luki hadn't helped me. In exchange for his help…"

"You let him _rape_ you?" I cut in, "Well you may have asked for this but I didn't! I had no fucking idea what the hell I'd gotten myself into until it was too late and now you expect me to sit there and watch that bastard get away with what he did?" The more I spoke the more furious I got, "The other day you told me people don't live just for themselves…well it's kind of hard for me to live knowing that people like him are still walking around freely! Its shit like this, that just makes me want to…" Almost immediately thoughts of suicide crossed my mind. "Makes me want to…" I began to think of all the easiest ways to do it, "Want…to…"

Subconsciously I began to tear away at my bandages trying to scratch at my wrist. Then I felt a hand on top of mine that was still trying to rip away the bandages so I could get to my flesh. The hand belonged to the man sitting next to me, Kaito Shion.

"Len, get ahold of yourself," he said, "Suicide isn't the answer to all your problems."

I closed my eyes, "Why not? It seems like the best thing to do when you really have no purpose in life. I'm just taking up space."

"Len your life does have a purpose!" Rin shouted out, "Everyone has a purpose in life, whether it is good or bad but no one knows what their purpose is. That's what we're all living to find out. You can't kill yourself now, Len; if you do you'll die unsatisfied because you never found out what that purpose was."

I took a deep breath, "Thank you, all of you." I stopped scratching at my wrists, "No matter what you did Mikuo I'm sure it's not half as bad as what that man has done…"

Mikuo stood up from his chair which surprised me, "Not half as bad? I _murdered_ someone! I murdered someone at the age of eleven, so there! There's what all of you wanted to know so badly," tears filled his eyes, "And not just anyone…I killed my own cousin. It was an accident. I found his father's gun and I didn't know it was loaded I swear… And…after he was shot I got scared. I didn't know what to do so I let him lay there and _die_." He covered his face with his hands, "Luki helped me cover it up completely so it looked like he had been kidnapped. But even now…I can still hear my cousin's screams of pain, asking someone to help him. Asking _me_ to help him…"

"Mikuo…" Kaito said, "After all these years you're still trying to punish yourself for what you did by letting Luki do what he wants to you. But that's just…you can't keep doing that. And how do you think your cousin's family feels? They have no idea what happened to their son so they're stuck wondering for the rest of their lives. He never even got a proper funeral. You have to tell the police, Mikuo, do it for your cousin."

Rin hugged Mikuo as he continued to cry. "I-I can't…"

"You _have _to," Kaito said, "His family deserves to know what happened to him. And once everyone knows, I promise you, you'll feel a lot better. You won't have a guilty conscience anymore."

Mikuo slowly nodded, "Alright. Alright, I'll do it."

* * *

Mikuo told the police what happened and he was arrested for manslaughter, although his sentence was much shorter than most, because he confessed on his own. He also agreed to testify with me in court against Luki who was eventually found guilty and sent to jail for many years.

During that time I had stopped taking my medication completely and felt just fine. But whenever suicidal thoughts did cross my mind, Kaito and Rin were right there to assure me everything would be okay. Soon my wounds had healed and I knew this was the beginning of my mental recovery. My illness was finally getting cured.

Kaito came to visit me and Rin a lot but one day I decided to drop by his house afterschool.

A bit nervous I rang the doorbell. It only took seconds for him to answer. "Hey, Len, nice of you to stop by, come in."

I escaped the cold winter air outside by stepping into his warm inviting house. Minutes later we were sitting in his living room chatting quietly about random things while drinking tea.

"Um…Kaito…I have something I want to tell you…" I said suddenly setting my cup of tea on the table.

"Yes Len, what is it?" Kaito took his glasses off to clean the lenses before putting them back on.

"The reason I came over here is because…well…because…" I couldn't hold back anymore… I leapt forward to hug the older man, "I wanted to tell you thank you. And I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you and-and—"

Kaito seemed surprised by my sudden actions, "And?"

"And _I love you_!" I had said those last words in the spur of the moment, without thinking.

Kaito hugged me back, "I love you too, Len."

"Good," I looked up at him and smiled, "Knowing that you love me back makes me the happiest person in the world."

Kaito looked a bit shocked. Probably because this was my first time smiling in front of him, maybe he didn't know I was even capable of such things. Right at that moment, Kaito leaned down and kissed me on the lips. Without hesitation I kissed back.

Gently he lifted me up and carried me into his bedroom. "Len, I want to take all of you for myself tonight. I want to make you mine. Are you alright with that?"

I nodded, "Of course I am." He laid me down on the bed and crawled on top of me.

Almost immediately, he kissed me again, "I love you, Len. I love you so much…"

Kaito whispering that repeatedly was almost enough to make me cry tears of joy. But I held it in. He slowly unbuttoned my school uniform and removed all of my clothing. After he finished with me he worked on getting all of his own clothing off.

Once our clothes were out of the way he reached down slowly slid his fingers _inside me_. Although the feeling was uncomfortable, this was highly necessary if I didn't want to feel extreme amounts of pain later.

As he pulled his fingers in and out and soon added more in he kissed me to suppress my moans as the uncomfortable feeling turned into pleasure.

"Okay, Kaito," I said, "I think I'm ready."

"Alright but stop me right away if it hurts, okay?"

I nodded.

Slowly he pushed his hard member inside of me and I felt a bit of pain. Although I didn't say anything Kaito could see I was in pain by the way closed my eyes, I clenched my teeth and gripped the bed sheets under us. He quickly stopped moving and waited for me to adjust to his size.

After a minute or two the pain was gone. "Okay you can move now..."

Kaito pulled all the way out and thrust back in repeatedly but the slow pace was killing me. He was still trying to be cautious not to hurt me.

"Kaito, please go faster," I told him while moaning in pleasure.

He quickened the pace, holding on to my hips so I stayed in place.

"Ahh…ah…Kaito…" I moaned his named as he reached down with one hand again to stroke my hard manhood.

After a while I could tell Kaito was getting close by the way his pace increased so much my mind could barely keep up with him. I could barely think.

When I came, shouting out his name in the process Kaito was not too far behind. Thrusting a few more times before he came inside of me. He then pulled out and collapsed on top of me.

"I love you, Len," he closed his eyes and began to drift off into sleep.

"I love you too, Kaito," I closed my eyes and began to do the same.

I had finally overcome my mental illness and now I could finally find happiness in life. Maybe I could start to have faith in God again. And even if I someday relapsed and became suicidal again, I know Kaito, Rin, and even Mikuo will be there by my side to help me, just like I'll be there for them when they need me. We all had to look after each other so we can live to find our purpose in life.


End file.
